Ok so writing this post has been on my mind ever since I became a mom three years ago! When I started to think about sharing personal things on this blog I actually got excited, I love when I read other peoples stories and you suddenly feel a sense of being right there with them, I think that is such a special and valuable part of social media and the internet today!
Don’t be fooled by the title it’s not all the serious heavy stuff its a lot of the real life funny parts of pregnancy and motherhood that I’m about to share… but if you don’t have kids or aren’t interested in that process then feel free to skip.. hah..
When I first thought about blogging 3 years ago it was after my son Duke was born. I began to collect a wealth of knowledge from other mamas, and books and blogs and family! Pregnancy brings about a lot of weird unusual physical and mental things you never expected to feel, but then you go through birth and that blows your mind, and then your caring for a tiny human and that is just life changing. I could literally spend months writing this post, pregnancy, miscarriage, placenta encapsulation, breast feeding battles, mom guilt, sleep training, baby milestones, going back to work or staying home, starting preschool, keeping up with your significant other and keeping yourself happy.. I could go on and on! In this post I will just touch on my pregnancies and birth and breast feeding.
Lets start with pregnancy! What an amazing time to be pregnant, female empowerment is at an all time high, medical information is readily available, and being open and having a motherhood community is totally the new cool! Thank god because we all need the support!
I was lucky enough to have an “easy” pregnancy with both my kids actually, I loved being pregnant, but let’s be honest, an easy and great pregnancy still includes, acne in weird places, growing a giant butt along with your belly, having my foot size grow too, getting a hemroid, weird colored nipples, and gas That’s right I said it all and you know your laughing and nodding your head! Don’t worry my husband doesn’t read my posts. And that’s the point of blogging right ladies complete vulnerability!
Then there is birth…. oh sweet baby geezus! We went to 6 weeks of Hypnobirthing class and toured our hospital and wrote a birth plan and had candles and music prepared… and what happened, well absolutely nothing on our plan that’s for sure! Let’s just say I fired my doula during birth.. hormones ya know! Hah! And for the record the most real advice I got was, “when you feel like your pooping out the baby your doing it right” hahah
BUT two c sections later we have two perfect little angels! With Duke I was 2 weeks late and induced, after a lot of waiting and stressing my husband and I laid in the hospital bed spooning and meditating on a wave video we had once seen together and literally like magic I was finally dilated to 10! I pushed for what felt like an eternity with my husband my mom and an amazing nurse all singing Beyoncé with me standing at a squatting bar! I kept begging the nurses and doctors let me try again because I knew I could do it, but in the end Duke was sunny side up and everything was getting too swollen, and it just wasn’t in the cards for us so 48 hours later we had a c section!
In my wildest dreams I never thought I would need a c-section, I have wide hips and a high pain threshold and I thought for sure I’d just squeeze that baby out.. it was an emotional roller coaster and I have to say I felt like a failure. Mostly because of the pressure to have a natural or vaginal birth is so encouraged lately, and don’t get me wrong I am beyond proud of any fellow mamas that were able to do it that way! But I am hear to tell you that I went through the process and I felt labor too and we are all strong mamas no matter how our babies come to us!
Ruby was a scheduled C section and although that felt so unromantic I have to say it was glorious! No pain, no fear of the un-known just a beautiful baby born at 8am!
The next “why didn’t anyone tell me” that I encountered was breast feeding! Ok first I will say I have literally heard trials and tribulations of every scenario in the book ladies, so if your pregnant or hoping to be a mom you just cannot plan for anything! You could over produce, under produce, get engorged, get bloody, have to supplement, have a beautiful easy ride… you just never know. And honestly my theory on why no one talks about how hard breastfeeding can be is because it’s too much information for you to take in while pregnant and you kind of just have to wait and see what happens anyways!
I envisioned a relaxing shirt off hippy environment where my babies got all the nourishment they needed from me for the first six months to a year. But once again that wasn’t my body’s plan, with both kids I was an under producer, I finally had a Lactation consultant tell me that I have lots of missing milk ducts in my breasts, which made sense and was also something I had never heard before! I tried everything, constant nursing, a hospital grade pump, every natural supplement, tea and cookie recipe that ever existed and it just was never enough. Both of my kids needed a mix of formula and breast milk from the beginning and that is OK!
But no one tells you how hard that journey can be, again I felt like a failure and it didn’t help when other moms were asking me “why don’t you just try to breast feed” when they would see a bottle. They had no idea how much I had tried. I remember the first formula bottle I gave my son, my Mom (a pediatrician, yes I know I’m the luckiest) guided me through it and re-assured me and encouraged me that I was doing everything right and I still cried like a baby! I hoped with my second baby my body would suddenly produce more and of course it did not. But in the end I have two healthy beautiful thriving children and I am able to share this with you with complete confidence… whatever your journey with feeding is.. YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT! There is no wrong way to feed!!
As your baby grows you realize that fellow moms are your best friends and in some cases your enemies don’t take that the wrong way mamas, but sometimes all the comparing and judging can be too much!
What I think I’ve learned is that all moms want something to talk about and to relate, and that can sometimes feel like everyone is competing or comparing their children to yours but really I think they are just trying to “feel normal” on this journey.
You might here things like;
How many teeth does she have?
How many hours is he sleeping at night?
Do you exclusively breast feed?
Are you baby led weaning?
Is she crawling yet?
Can he say any words yet?
Are you starting school yet?
Are you back to work yet?
All the Mom talk can really feel overwhelming, or at least for me it did, until I realized that maybe it was all just to gain a wealth of knowledge and to make each other feel normal, becoming a mother overnight is so hard and at least we know we aren’t going through it alone!
Well I think on that positive note I’ll end this post! All you mamas should know that whatever your doing to raise your babies is fantastic! When your family is happy and healthy then your doing it right! Let’s keep the motherhood tribe strong!!